How to “Unearth” Ideas, Issues, and Solutions:<br>Become an “Exploratory Listener”
By Craig Bentley
When we speak, we hope and expect that others will listen. But do we return the favor? Do we really listen to those around us, or are we too eager to make our point, to show our mastery of a problem or situation, so eager to voice our opinions that we pay only cursory attention to what others are saying?
If we don’t practice active listening, we might miss the whole point of a conversation or dialogue. Good communicators “go deep” with their listening, and you can too!
Most of us realize that good oral communication is based on two very important but distinct actions on our part. The first step is how clearly we express our thoughts and ideas, and articulate what is on our minds. How we use and project our voice, our body language, and the structure and content of what we say is critical to our audience’s understanding and appreciation of our spoken word.
The second and equally important aspect of oral communication is listening. No surprise, right? You know that it’s important to listen to others. But just what type of a listener are you? And what do you try to accomplish when you listen to others speak? Is it to see if there is agreement with your opinions? Do you listen to prepare your next comments to keep the conversation rolling along or to provide a solution? Or are you listening merely because it’s “the polite thing to do”?
Why it’s so important to listen at a deeper level
While preparing for a coaching session with one of my senior executive clients, it occurred to me that the process of becoming a good “exploratory listener” is a lot like other types of commercial exploration. So let’s take a look at one such commercial activity – mining.
When seeking new mineral deposits for exploitation, geologist and miners often take the following steps:
Step 1. Examine the ground surface
They look for promising signs on the surface that indicate the possibility of deposits below ground.
Step 2. Preliminary excavation
The search begins – the fist core sample is drilled or shallow excavation starts. Traces of the desired material are detected and it becomes clearer that this may be an attractive site for further exploration
Step 3. Investigation begins in earnest.
As more and more positive signs are identified (for example, larger deposits of the type of materials that normally contain the desired substance) multiple core samples may be taken or more aggressive and thorough excavation commences.
Step 4. Success!
After reading all of the signs and testing samples, a major deposit, the real value of the exercise, is confirmed.
Step 5. Continuing exploration
Once a major deposit has been located, testing continues to determine the extent of the find, to discover the rich veins of deposit that may branch off in many directions and at varied depths.
How does this apply to business conversations?
In dialogue with others, we can do our own exploration by asking questions, digging deeper to be sure we have unearthed the real issue, the real question or concern being raised. The first comment or question may only hint at what’s on someone’s mind---if we don’t ask questions and become engaged listeners, we might fail to ever get to the “mother lode”, the real burning issue or critical fact that is at the heart of the problem we are confronting.
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Mining
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Active, Exploratory Listening
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Surface material – hints of minerals
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Opening Point or Question
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Trace materials found
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Questions: Suggests more there than first suggested
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Dense material that holds valuable minerals
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More questions: Getting down to the real issues
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Mother lode
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Revelation: AHA! The real problem is uncovered
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Vein(s) of Wealth
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Enlightenment – the extent of the issue is revealed
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As the table above suggests, it can require a continuing effort to really uncover the value, to find the most important issue behind an opening comment or opinion. If your conversational practice is to quickly respond to another’s comment or question by offering a solution, you might find that you are solving all of the wrong problems!
And even if you normally ask a single follow-up question, you still might only be scratching the surface and missing the deeper, underlying concern or issue.
So if you really want to have meaningful conversations and dialogues with others, be an exploratory listener and “dig deep”.
Craig Bentley can be reached at cbentley@bates-communications.com. For more information on our Executive Coaching Program in Communications, click here: http://www.bates-communications.com/executive-coaching-and-consulting/